3 signs your quietly brilliant teen has not settled in sixth form

It’s the first half term break already.
Hopefully, your quietly brilliant teen has settled into sixth form - made friends, kept up with their studies, and found time for the activities they enjoy.

But… if something feels off, now is the time to ask questions.

Why Some Teens Feel "Meh" at Sixth Form

Every year around this time, I receive a wave of requests for coaching from Year 12 students who are feeling deflated.

Not because they’re failing.
But because everything feels flat.

The teachers are the same.
The lessons are the same.
The school is the same.
Even the friendship issues feel the same.

They’re bored, demotivated, and frustrated.

The common thread?

Most of these students hadn’t truly considered their options after Year 11.
They simply followed the path they thought they “should” - picking a few GCSE subjects and staying at the same school.

Why Parents Often Miss the Signs

As parents, we want to believe it’s just a wobble.
We tell ourselves:

• “It’s only two years.”

• “It’s a great school.”

• “They’ll settle in soon.”

• “Starting somewhere else would be hard. Would it even be any better?”

And sometimes, they do find a way through.

But that doesn’t always mean it’s the right path.
Staying in the wrong environment can slowly erode a teen’s motivation and confidence.

Sometimes what they’ve chosen simply doesn’t fit.

And that’s OK.

Giving them “permission” to explore other options at this age sets them up for future self-advocacy - something they’ll need in jobs, relationships, and beyond.

3 Signs Your Teen Might Be Struggling to Settle

1. They’re Not Talking About School

Silence isn’t always golden.
If your teen has gone from excited to withdrawn, that’s a sign.

They may be disappointed the experience doesn’t match expectations or ashamed to admit they’ve made the wrong choice.

2. Their Motivation Has Disappeared

They were energised at the start, but now?
They’re oversleeping, avoiding homework, zoning out.

This isn’t laziness.
It’s what happens when something feels meaningless - when there’s no connection between what they’re learning and what they care about.

3. They Feel Out of Place Socially

This can be subtle.
They might not say anything but if they seem disconnected, lonely, or like they’re ‘performing’ just to fit in, that takes its toll (and fast).

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What Can You Do to Help?

The single most important thing you can do?

Help them see they have a choice.

They’re over 16 now. Choosing their own path - based on who they are, not what’s expected - can be incredibly empowering.

Try This Simple Coaching Exercise

Start by asking:
“What matters most to you day to day at school?”

Invite them to list those things, then score each one out of 10.
This can be incredibly revealing.

Then explore:

• “What would staying where you are look like in the best-case scenario?”

• “What would have to change for you to want to stay?”

• “What could a new environment offer that’s missing now?”

• “Are there ways to get what you want without leaving?”

• “What would you gain if you left? What would you lose?”

• “If you stayed another year, how do you imagine you’d feel?”

• “Now imagine you’d made another choice: what’s different in your energy, confidence, and learning?”

Some teens will want to talk through these; others might prefer to reflect privately.
Either way, these questions can offer the clarity they’re craving.

Final Thought

It’s not easy - at any age - to admit when something isn’t working.
It can be emotional, painful, and hard to let go of what we thought would be “right.”

But if your teen is struggling, this might be the moment to help them course-correct.

If your teen would benefit from sorting through their thoughts in a calm, supportive space, I offer a free 1:1 insight call.

Sometimes just knowing there’s another way makes all the difference.